Guest Post: Men and Women Are NOT Equal
by Miriam Silverberg
My parents raised me to believe that there was nothing I couldn’t do if I really wanted to. My father believed that women were smarter than men and I was the smartest. With his encouragement I started a boutique publicity agency. Today I own Miriam Silverberg Associates, a small publicity firm specializing in restaurants, fashion and anything that appeals to a woman’s comfort, vanity and convenience. I’ve been in business for well over 20 years.
Here’s what I’ve discovered Most men don’t think women are as smart as men. They won’t treat a woman the same as they treat a man. They’ll take advantage of a woman and do things they wouldn’t have the nerve to do to a man. Let me explain.
- I had a male client who was a plastic surgeon. He was in trouble and I tried to give him advice. He told me he didn’t like taking advice from a woman. I asked him whether he realized I was a woman when he hired me and he said yes, but he didn’t think I would tell him what to do.
- Another male client propositioned me with his wife standing a few feet away! At times this man would yell at both of us in fury when things didn’t go his way.
- Another male client refuses to pay me on time. He’s very sweet and very nice but I have to plead for my money. Do you think he’d treat a man this way? I don’t think so.
- Men hire me to advise them on publicity and presenting their best face to the public and then won’t take my advice because I’m "just a woman." Men just don’t take a woman seriously. Even if she’s single as I am, they seem to think she’s just working for spending money. She’s not really earning a living.
I’ve had men regularly use four-letter words speaking to me, either because they deliberately wanted to get a rise out of me and offend me, or more benignly, they considered me one of the boys. Either way, I never used the same language, either asking them not to use it or, if I thought they were just expressing themselves, I let it go.
I’m convinced one of the big reasons I have difficulty being taken seriously is I weigh 88 lbs and am a hair under 5′. I know I am very chic
in my appearance and make no attempt to look or act like a man Neither do I flirt in a business atmosphere. I don’t act like Hillary Clinton but neither do I act or dress like a Playboy bunny. I’ve spoken to other women in business and they all agree that they also have trouble being taken seriously.
I’m successful and I’ve accomplished a lot and I’m very proud of myself but it hasn’t been easy. I’ve had to be a typical "pushy dame" (or so I’ve been told) to get what I’m entitled to. I’ve had to raise my voice and stand my ground not to let people push me around. I’m a baby boomer and my mother taught me to be ladylike. When I went into business after she died, my father had to teach me not to be so ladylike.
He said in businesss you can’t be too much of a lady or people will walk all over you. Sad to say, he was right.
Do you agree with Miriam? Why or why not? Tell your story in the comments.
***
Miriam Silverberg is founder and president of Miriam Silverberg Associates, a boutique public relations firm in Manhattan. She has worked with restaurants, doctors, fashion and beauty fields, authors and New York City Ballet. She is a contributor to Restaurant Report. com and writes a regular column on fashion for the Epoch Times. She is an annual panelist at Marymount Manhattan College’s seminar on writing and publicity. She may be reached at silverbergm at mindspring dot com.
Tags: women and business, women in business, women, woman, business, womens business blog, miriam silverberg, men versus women, sex discrimination, gender discrimination, battle of the sexes, inequality, equal, men, biz chicks rule, kristen king
Related Stories
POSTED IN: Controversial Issues
5 opinions for Guest Post: Men and Women Are NOT Equal
James Chartrand - Men with Pens
Jun 25, 2008 at 10:10 am
I agree. Men and women are treated differently. But what I think you’ve left out in your own gender bias perceptions is that women also treat women as less than men.
I have a few friends who are female freelance writers. They all agree that they have a more difficult time with female clients. The nastiness, the pressure, the competitive tone and the condescension they receive make working with women unpleasant.
Seems to me like women have it bad on both sides. Gender bias from both men and women can’t be much fun.
Karen Swim
Jun 25, 2008 at 10:35 am
Kristin and Miriam this topic is sure to spark lots of conversation. Miriam congratulations on your success, I am inspired! I am also a baby boomer who found success in corporate before starting my own business three years ago. I have had some of the experiences Miriam discusses but have also had the same experiences with women! In fact a couple of years ago I purposely sought out male clients because I found the experience to be straightforward and agreeable. Of course that was silly as there are good and bad in both sexes. I now have found a supportive professional community of clients and friends comprised of smart men and women who treat everyone with equal respect.
Sandie Law
Jun 25, 2008 at 2:09 pm
Wow. Honestly, I think this is an unfair assessment of men. There are some real losers out there, but there are also a lot of men who respect women for their skills and abilities.
Rather than discuss the men who have treated you unfairly, perhaps you could discuss ways you’ve overcome their attitudes? Check out Tei’s post on Rogue Ink. http://rogueink.wordpress.com/2008/06/17/your-copywriter-now-in-attractive/
Donna
Jun 25, 2008 at 6:52 pm
I think theres a lot of truth in what you’ve said, however many women make the mistake of trying to talk and act like a man. You wont get away with it. men will call you a ball breaker and women will call you a B. You have to be more cunning , more subtle than any man can and you have to do this with charm. This takes some energy I tell you, but it works.
Do not play a man’s game, see it for what it is, and raise the stakes higher. Don’t beg for your money, remove the discount if not paid on time, they’ll pay.Or get a male bill collector and pay him on commision.
Rebecca Laffar-Smith
Jun 26, 2008 at 4:48 am
I agree that there are definitely inequality amongst the genders but I also agree with James when he says that these sorts of situations are not soley a man vs. woman occurance. We, as women are often raised with altered expectations. We are still battling against a prejudiced frame of mind from everyone and not just men.
Having said that, I also feel your tone is very anti-men in this article. Yes, it can come up but men as a generalization aren’t sexist. SOME men are, and many men are wonderful about equality.
It also works in reverse. Some women are biased against men. Some roles are more commonly accepted by a particular gender. Consider a single stay at home father. He is forever on the outskirts of the ‘mom groups’ because he’s a man. He’s doing the same role, but the gender bias makes him an outcast.
We have a long road ahead of us to create an entirely equal society. From race to gender and beyond there are still preconceptions that devide us. The best we can all do is our best to put aside rose colored glasses and see each individual as themself and not a shade or body part.
Have an opinion? Leave a comment: